Things I've Learned: Part 2

Alrighty...here is part two of my "Things I've Learned" series. And I'm sure there will be many, many more as my little grows up. :)

11) Drink water. LOTS of water. Even more than you did when you were pregnant. If you don't, one of the worst headaches of your life will pervade into your daily routine...and trust me. A crying baby and a headache do not mix.  It also helps keep up your milk supply. I think.

12) Don't get too attached to any outfits that are cute. For either of you, that is... You will rarely leave the house in them before they have spit up, or breast milk, all over them. Or at least in all of the most awkward locations. (read: booby stains).

13) Wash your face, especially your chin and neck.  Baby snuggles = clogged pores. :(

14) Sew your own nursing tank top- there is no need to spend $40 at one of those retail stores! It just gets milk all over it any way.  All you need to do is buy a spaghetti strap tank in a size or two too small (I used H&M).  Cut the straps off, leaving about 1.5-2 inches in the front.  Then, sew a loop in the front to hook onto your nursing bra. $5 later and you have a nursing tank that covers the tummy you'd rather not show, all while looking just like a normal tank. Which it is. #winning!

15) Set the babes to nap everywhere. Don't just stick to one spot. I used the swing, the crib, the bassinet, our bed, the couch, my lap, etc.  If you can get them to switch it up, they'll be able to sleep anywhere, fingers crossed.

16) Use white noise at every nap and at night. It covers background noise (like adult game nights!) and it can calm them in the car when they freak out those first few months too. My little didn't exactly like the car (and now, just tolerates it), so the white noise app on my phone worked wonders. We bring the white noise machine when we visit family as well. I'm pretty sure we'll need to buy a second machine when S leaves our room, too. We've grown so accustomed to it!

17) Don't quit breastfeeding. Seriously. Don't. No matter what. In very few illnesses do you have to stop. If you can make it past the first week, the next few weeks are a little easier. Then the next month. It is SO hard at first, so use lanolin, warm compresses, pump extra to build up a stash, love your pump at night for a pity session if little is sleeping, and make sure to take care of yourself (eat, drink water). But try your very hardest not to quit. I used to resent feeding her, the let down was so painful and the area was so sensitive. But on the advice of several mommy friends, I stuck with it. And I am SO glad I did. It is my absolute favorite time with her- not only is it nourishment, but it is a true consolation for her, no matter what was upsetting her. Oh, and babies are messy eaters (see #7), but they get neater, I promise. :)

18) Appreciate the time to nurse. Don't rush them. It's a time for both of you to retreat from the chaos and rest together. I can't count how many times I've fallen asleep with her while nursing. (safety first though!) It's a way to escape social situations, a way to soothe a fussy babes, and a really easy thing to never forget when you leave the house!

19) Always wear breast pads. But remember #1 (don't wash them!!!). It is so easy to forget to pull them out of your shirt/bra.

20) If you want to build up a stash of breast milk, start early when you're overproducing, and before your body stabilizes your supply (around 6 weeks). I didn't,  mostly because I was tired, and busy. But it is so much easier than trying to bump up your supply when your levels are established. (But I used More Milk Plus and Mother's Milk teas, and it seems to be working to get an extra 5 oz each day...)

More to come later!  I'm serious...this list just keeps getting longer and longer!

Much love.
J

Things I've Learned: Part 1

So I'm a mom. In every sense of the word. However, I haven't experienced every blessed moment of motherhood. I can't wait for first steps, play dates, school days, and dance recitals. There are soccer games to be won (or at least hard fought), training bras to awkwardly shop for, and boys to chase away. But until those days are upon us, I am rapidly acquiring knowledge at a seemingly superhuman rate. Between online reading during nursing sessions and conversations with btdt moms, and of course the school of hands-on learning, I feel like I've learned more about babies than I learned all the way through college. To that end, I kept an ongoing list of tips and tricks I tried (and liked) and wanted to post them here before it was too late for others to benefit. This way, I can also skip the awkward "I don't really need advice" comments from other moms who'd rather "learn through chemistry," to quote my mother.

Here they are:
1) Don't wash your disposable booby pads. They have this weird gel inside them that gets all over the washing machine. It's gross. And I cloth diaper, so you know I'm serious.

2) Feed for 3 minutes, burp for 5. My little miss had such bad reflux at first, and my letdown was pretty strong. We both went through so many outfits those first few weeks because of all the spit up. If I could get a good burp out during the feeds, I found we did so much less laundry.

3) Figure out how to get chores done in 20 minute increments. My little one's naps were so unpredictable at first. So 20 minutes was about all I had to do things in. Figuring out a schedule for tasks will save your mind. Maybe dishes during the morning nap, laundry during the afternoon, and a general pick up during the evening so that the house resembles a shadow of its pre-baby self. Later on, naps get longer (but less frequent), so this schedule will change. :)

4) It's okay to have scary thoughts. You're going to worry about your baby. You're going to freak out, cry with them, and feel so helpless at times. But talk to someone- another mom, a doctor, your husband. Just talk it out. I was diagnosed with PPA and getting the help I needed to get a handle on my anxiety was what was best for my daughter, and my mental health.

5) Windex and febreeze does wonders for messes on your couch. Especially if you have a microfiber couch, and no expensive cleaners. That dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding was right, after all.

6) Diaper Rash? Use Desitin with 40% zinc oxide. Don't waste your time with another brand, especially if the rash is bad and develops quickly. Little miss was only a few days old when she developed a rash (her poor booty wasn't used to the ammonia in her urine yet). There were other options at the store but they were all around 15% ZO. Then we found the good stuff. It takes about a day to clear up. Usually within one application, the rash looks a whole lot better.

7) In the beginning, nursing is messy. Really really messy. I figured it would eventually get better, since so many moms are able to do it in public without much preplanning. However, for those first few weeks, a receiving blanket on the lap, and a burp rag tucked into the bra under baby's head does wonders. But don't forget to keep something on the other boob. It leaks for quite awhile.

8) Always tie your hair up. Way up. In the first few months, this is to keep it from getting spit up in it. Later, it's to keep it safe from grabby hands. I highly recommend the sock bun.

9) Make your shower count. Especially since you only get one every other day or so. Buy soap you really like. Deep condition your hair. Shave your legs with a good razor.

10) Its okay to have a naked baby. The first few weeks of her life, little miss and I were both au natural for pretty much the whole day. The water bill was thankful that I didn't have so much laundry, and the skin to skin was pretty critical for my breast milk supply.

Take it or leave it. These are some of the things I've learned. There are more to come, but keep in mind that my experiences are completely my own. If there is one thing I truly take away from all my online and in person research, it's that every baby is completely different, and you just have to learn as you go. My tricks are more universal, but they still just may not be right for you and your family. That's what makes motherhood so difficult and rewarding. You have to figure out so much, but when you do, you feel like you accomplished more that you ever did in all your years of school. You are the expert of your own little one, so don't ever let anyone think they know better. Question everything, your little one depends on your doing so. :)

Now go snuggle with the sweetest little thing in your life and ignore the callings of the laundry, dishes, and everything else that "needs" to get done. It's not as pressing as it tries to make you believe. Your baby grows way too quickly.

The days are long, but the years are short.
xxo

Not in my hands.

Today's tragedy in Connecticut is a sick and disgusting example of the absolute evil that is in this world. It struck me so profoundly differently than school shootings that have happened in the past. I've been a teacher through other tragedies, and I was affected as a teacher. It's always been a frightening thought to know that a simple email or grade might affect a parent or student enough to act irrationally. The straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. But add the rush of recently acquired and subsequently lost hormones from Scarlett's entrance into this world, and today's events can cause an paradoxical level of gratitude and anxiety.  I am so thankful that I have my baby girl in my arms. When she sleeps, all I want to do is wake her up and kiss her all over. I want to snuggle her and nurse her and lay next to her while she stretches in her own little way. I am beginning to understand a small bit of what people mean when they say that they love their children enough to give up their own lives. But at the same time, I am so worried that I will lose her.  The prospect of her not existing is unimaginable. The only thought that comforts me that is that it is completely out of my control.  Completely.  And while that would usually further my sense of anxiety, I take comfort in the fact that only God can decide when I will take my last breath. Or when any of our stories end.  My sister is currently beside herself with worry that the plane that takes her home in two days will go down. She has finally begun to truly enjoy Sweden, and the thought that it could be taken away is so heavy on her heart. The only words I can offer her is that it is out of her control. And that should be a relief. To know that no matter what, if it is her time, then it is her time. There is nothing anyone can do about it. And if one can believe that it is up to Someone else, then they can take comfort in the fact that they will also be joining their Savior in heaven. You need to have faith in a higher power and an authority that has more control over your life than you do.  What a blessing to have Someone else to rely on for control! We don't have to be in charge of our own trials and tragedies. We don't have to count on ourselves to keep our planes in the air, our children safe in schools, or diseases out of our bodies. We have a Maker and a Father who is in control and we don't have to depend on our own weak bodies and minds.  I take comfort in the fact that my daughter's life, my husband's life, my life, and everything else is out of my control.  It's a new perspective that requires constant affirmation, and I pray that my sister and brother can take comfort in this as well.

God is Good

That's what I have to keep reminding myself when I'm made aware of what is really affecting me. I'm not the type of person to think outwardly, to confront issues when they come up, or to express my true emotions about the things most devastating to me. Some of which I'll probably never talk about.

God is good.

Even when composing this piece, I have to remind myself.

God is good.

My job is gone, again. I'm in a holding pattern, as my principal has said on several occasions, and I feel the phrase is most appropriate. I may sound stuck up, but I am a great teacher. I have a lot to learn, definitely. I make mistakes every day. I insult children on accident, embarrass them without thinking, and I teach them something wrong, and have to reteach it. But I am there for the kids. I am there for them, encouraging them to be more than anyone has told them they can be. I challenge them beyond what most people think is appropriate. I have high standards for academic excellence, and my students hit those standards. Those things may not be reflected on standardized teaching, or on report cards, but the lessons that my students learn in my class every day are lessons meant to make them better people. Better citizens. More aware members of society who can think for themselves, and do more than just question authority. They are learning to make decisions that will shape how they handle real life issues later on. I demand that they produce their best, and while some still aren't there, if I make a difference in one child's life, a whole mess of mistakes is worth it.

God is good.

I'm surrounded by conflicting media that demands that I think this, or feel that. Unions that require me to agree wholeheartedly without providing the protections for me as an individual. Why on earth would I want to be a part of a group that is biased within its own ranks. Stop protecting some, while offering up others as a sacrifice. We're people, with faces and families.

I've always known that I'm not in teaching for the long haul. And this may be it for me. I hope it's not. I still have quite a bit to learn before I move on. I'm praying. And holding my pattern. God is good.

An update on Levi is that he has secured another job. Hopefully this one will last awhile, at least through the summer so that my loss doesn't hit us as hard as it has the past two summers. While I jealously watch friends buy houses and take trips, I remember that I have what God gave me for a reason. I have lessons to learn, trials to endure, and my path is individually and carefully planned for me by my Creator. I am His daughter, with all my issues, needing guidance and introspection. There is an absolutely higher purpose to what Levi and I have endured- both in the trials you may have heard of, and those we keep to ourselves. We are growing in Him, and that is often a painful, but always a blessed regeneration.

I apologize for this blog becoming more of a one-sided reflection portal for me. We all know Levi isn't much of a writer. I'd like to say he reads these, but I can't be certain. The last post took him about a week to get around to. I'll be sure to tell him there's a new one up tonight so he can catch up with you.

On a side note, if you're interested in my most recent post on being an educator, please read my other blog- secondaryedthoughts.blogspot.com. It's a post I am sure will make some angry and some cheer from their seats in front of their computer screens. Either way, it's sure to invoke a response.

February Got Chilly

Finally it feels like winter here in San Diego, and I don't like it! We moved (again...grrrrrrr) and have a backyard. We want to have barbeques so badly, but alas it just keeps raining! Long story short, we got a place, the plumbing broke,and then we got a new place. Heck yes. The dogs love it, we love it, we can't wait for summer weather!

In other news, no news yet on whether or not I'll get to keep my job, but its looking 50/50 at this point. I'll continue going to an average of 1-2 night meetings a week, sitting on two committees at school, and serve as the department chair for experience and leadership skill-building.

Let us know if you know anyone hiring within the Civil Engineering field or a field like it. Levi continues to apply to several jobs on a daily basis, but at this point it looks like a personal contact might go a little further. Anyone know anyone who knows anyone? ;) We're praying HARD that he secures a job before I lose my this summer. :/ oye vey.

God won't give us ANYTHING we can't handle, and boy are we struggling, but growing in Christ at the same time. So thankful for the journey He has put us on with the strength only He can provide.

Love to all. Please keep us in your prayers.

Christmas Letter

Friends and Family,

The Ryan Brood, as my Pappie lovingly describes us, wishes you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas and the happiest of new years. This letter serves as a reflection of our life in San Diego this year.

Levi continues to interview and search for the job the Lord has for him. We’re waiting and praying for him to find the company who needs him for his talents and incredible heart. In the meantime, he has been blessed with two part time jobs—one at a civil engineering firm and the other with wonderful friends from church at their remodeling company. Please continue to pray for him as he waits to see what God has for him. In other news, he has taken up running and this year he’s completed two 5ks and the Silver Strand Half Marathon on Coronado. He is currently training for the Carlsbad Half Marathon with some folks from church this January. Wish him luck, and be sure to look for pictures on facebook!

I was able to regain my job at the middle school I taught at last year, as well as pick up an extra gig teaching teachers technology (say that three times fast). After the much-publicized political chaos in the world of education, it is a true miracle to still have such a wonderful opportunity at a great school. I am the department head this year for English and humanities and also serve on two site leadership councils; my colleagues and my administration are a great support. I have a fantastic group of students this year who are eager and willing to learn, and still laugh at my jokes. I earned my Masters degree in Education, and without Levi and the rest of my family’s support, it would never have happened. I was also awarded a grant from the Barona Tribe here in San Diego; after being endorsed by State Treasurer Bill Lockyer, I found out last week that I’ll receive a generous sum to use in my classroom for technology and books. I love buying new books for my classroom, and this grant allows for a fabulous shopping trip as well as a break for my mom from garage sale perusing! I am so excited!

Together this year, Levi and I have played on a softball team, begun playing soccer with an indoor league, and moved into a new house just down the street from where my granny lived when I was young. Our brood expanded by one when we adopted Ruby, a three year old boxer, who is very patient with Oscar. We spent a week in Wyoming, remembering how wonderful time spent with family is. We’ve learned more about what it means to be married, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, with no pets or with four. We are incredibly blessed for all your support and can’t wait to see what 2011 has in store for us. We love you all, and wish you and your families the merriest of Christmases and the happiest of new years. Please follow us on our blog (lnjryan.blogspot.com) and visit us in person (we’ll invest in a blow up bed just for you). We’d love to see you.

xxo,

Levi and Jillian

A Follow Up; A Post for my Teacher Friends

I have another blog, in case you weren't aware, for the sole purpose of avoiding the boredom of my non-teaching friends. Besides that, this blog, though primarily written by me, was meant to send out information about both Levi and I. Not teaching stuff. And if you're a teacher, you know exactly what I mean by "teaching stuff." So, my dear friends, peruse the following site if you ever want ideas for ed tech, collaborative strategies, to follow my "teacher twitter," or to check out my homework site for this year. :) The most recent post, as of today, is a follow up on a post I wrote here on August 3rd. It's a reflection on the strategies I've employed in my class so far this year. Please comment if you have any inklings- teaching, at it's human core, is complete collaboration.

Happy Reading!