Where do I start?

It has been so long since I last wrote, apologies. I am sincerely sorry to have left any of you hanging, though I doubt too many people actually follow this blog. :) Since our last post, we've been all over...New Mexico, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, etc. We've spent our first Christmas together as newlyweds, we've bought our first car together, we've joined a couple's group at the church, we've made new friends, and we've dealt with tough news. All the while, our hearts were together in agreement: despite the trials and despite the pain, our marriage is making it. Its strong, its not a "honeymoon" phase- we disagree too much to still be there (I think that phase ended about a day into the honeymoon...). Instead, its become a real marriage, one that is never perfect, never fully flawed. Its fueled with persistence, love, and hard work. Its the backbone of all decisions; whether its what we're having for dinner or where we are going to move, or whether I should stay as a teacher. I am so blessed to have reached this point of cognition where I realized that Levi really isn't going anywhere, I am just as hard to handle when married to, and where I really am not perfect...(darn it, I thought I had that one nailed down already!)

This perspective has gotten us through a LOT of hard times recently...hence our prayer list:

1) Pray for Granny Q who is needing additional medical assistance to
recover from a recent blow to her health.
2) Pray for Jillian...struggling with "staying engaged" with school since I
found out my school had to post my job as a vacancy for next year (I'll have to
reapply for my job). And they tell me this after they encouraged
me to begin to co-lead a committee on discipline on campus.
3) Levi's job is difficult in the sense that he's discouraged by trials at
work.
4) Finances: We're fine, but saving up for a house in the near future
is difficult when dealing with a potential one-income household this
summer.
5) Know of any great jobs Jillian could have over the summer?
:)

Please pray, but be encouraged that our marriage is something that has grown and developed as of late. We argue, we agree, but we always love eachother. And when we get out of a nasty argument, and when the smoke all clears, we'll always come back with the appreciation for what the other has to offer.

It isn't always perfect, but its never fully flawed.

This Season and its Struggles

It seems apt that I should post, for several reasons. First, it has been over a month since our last update. Second, this season seems to be trying us more than any other season. In the past, we've had to deal with other trials, but this year seems to be more difficult than usual. Between all the changes that Levi and I have both made and undergone, and external circumstances out of our control, it appears that God is fervently telling us, demanding us even, to lean to Him for support, for love and for guidance. We have been feeling distant lately, considering our new circumstances and the seach for a church home fell to the wayside while we balanced our new life with our old lives. We have finally settled on a church, and how ironic is it that we've been going through Mark, where the message God puts forth is for us as His followers to follow! The pastor talks about a need, a requirement to "wake up" from our lives that we've been living, and let God lead our actions and our decisions. We have to learn to trust Him, instead of trusting ourselves to change our circumstances. I hope this small insight has an impact on your own walk with Him.

This season, we have had to deal with a car wreck, and hence a new car purchase on our monthly payments, debt from the move, and new jobs that put some intense stress on us at times. Levi seems better equipped for his job, but as for myself, teaching has turned into a career that I am no longer sure of. In speaking with many different teachers, it seems that this year is supposed to be the hardest, and I am supposed to be feeling like I want to quit. Apparently that's normal, and the detail that supports the recorded statistic that 50% of teachers who enter the profession leave within three years. Dealing with the stress everyday takes its toll on my mind and my physical wellness. Getting sick doesn't help, and 8th grade is a very difficult grade to teach. The kids are testing me every day, and at this point, I am trying to have the mindset that I can't let a few 13 year olds ruin my day, or force me into changing my career. Its been known that I am using teaching as a stepping stone into a career of politics and administration and policy, but these next few years will be very challenging. I ask for your prayers.

If you have any suggestions for cars for us, let us know! We are finding that shopping for cars is more difficult than we thought it would be. Its also more expensive.

Prayers in general are very much appreciated, we are dealing with some travel plans, and navigating the airline industry can be a doozy. We'll be flying out soon, and catching lots of different planes, staying in a million different hotels, and seeing (meeting for me) a lot of family back east. Pray for safety, health and no stress! I am really nervous about how cold it will be, I'm not the type to enjoy freezing cold weather for very long. I bought my thermals, and boots, and am now on the hunt for scarves, gloves, and anything else that could possibly keep me warm over there!

Much love to all, keep on praying. We'll be in touch.

Levi and Jillian

cabrio tod: wednesday november 12

without detail, i wanted to update those who read the blog that I have in an accident on Wednesday, and while i was checked out and given a partially clean bill of health (aside from bruises, aches, pains and anxiety) my car was not as fortunate. In its sacrifice to save me from the same fate, it was totaled and assessed at $300. This is a really difficult end to my first car that i was able to purchase with my parents, and a huge blow to our capability to produce a down payment on a new vehicle.but we are trusting that God will provide for our replacement. Prayers are appreciated as we continue to adjust to life here in SD, test drive an expensive new purchase, and healing for my body.

on other terms, school has gotten very interesting, and while the students are difficult (considering the multitude), the staff and job are still absolutely amazing, and i still wake up wanting to teach at Standley. amazing.

levi is happy. and stressed. but mostly happy. and soooo supportive of me and my process following the accident. love him. perhaps someday he'll post too.

prayers to all.
and love.

Long-anticipated update (from room 510)

Wow. it certainly has been quite a long time since we've updated any of you on our lives here in san diego. many things have changed. most for the good.

We left you at Levi on an old project and myself being released from my subbing position at Crawford high. Since then, Levi has progressed, is working overtime (more on this), and I am the newest teacher at Standley Middle School. this one will be around for the rest of the year, thank God. I am teaching all 8th graders, three periods of regular English, one of GATE English, and one study skills section consisting of two alternating classes. For those of you keeping score, that's 184 kids not counting my advisory class of 30. (its a 25 mintues class each morning to keep the kids from falling behind without anyone knowing about it).

it is a huge classload.

wait. i apologize for the biggest understatement of this blog.

its a HUGE classload.

The staff here and the faculty are amazing. The support is undeniable. And the resources are adequate. However the children are having an unbelievable time adjusting to a new teacher after 6 weeks with, from what i'm told, is the "most amazing teacher in the world. " The kids told me this in their letters to me on the first day of school. oh children.

so what results from this for me is a string of extremely taxing days. in fact, my first "good" day was today, when a field trip for spanish claimed 5-10 kids from each class. Bliss. The kids worked today, they were quiet (kind of) today. I didn't feel as overwhelmed today. Wow. What a contrast to yesterday, where i experienced my first ever fight, in my classroom. gnarly girl fight, resulted in blood, chaos, and three combined days of suspension. I fear mostly the social rejection of the second girl when she returns tomorrow to school. She has a sad story, and the kids aren't accepting of her. There is a possibility of an intervention in my second period. more to come on that.

i also saved a kid's life.

read that again.

go ahead.

saved.a.kids.life.

uh huh.

i sent him to the nurse because he was loopy. kids said he fell down a lot, so i got him to look at me, i checked him out, (in my head) deemed him drunk or concussion(ed) and sent him to the nurse with a friend. turns out he had gotten a concussion in pe the period before mine, nifty. he was still out of it today, but i think i am going to hold it over him (since he is a behavior issue) that i saved his life. he'll thank me, i'm sure, by doing homework for once.

ha.

On happier terms (at least for us humans), our children were fixed (Aunt Laura is da' bomb), and declawed, and vaccinated, and dewormed. woot. here are some of the pictures to prove that they are upset with us, and totally drugged out:

Emmy is practicing her teenage "i hate you" look...

Tony is totally out of it, but hey, lookie! He likes his crosswords, just like his Mommy!

Emmy had a little difficulty waking up... (needless to say, Tony was apparently up and eating by the time Auntie and Nana showed up).

and this is what you look life when you do drugs. yay for red ribbon week! :P

The house has been extremely quiet for the past week while they have been up in ventura getting healthy, and i miss them. can't necessarily say the same for levi. ah well.

This weekend looks like the fourth busy weekend in an even longer string of weekends that we haven't been in town for. we are trying to get into a church, but having trouble staying in town to, between Elsinore and Ventura. Hopefully we'll change that this weekend. We'll see. We need a little more God in our lives. :) But we are excited to celebrate Karynne's birthday this Saturday night, and get our children back soon. :D

can't wait. apologies for the Jillian-heavy blog this time. Levi can update at his leisure.

love to all.

A Day Wasted

Or so it seems. My first day at home since they decided at the high school that enrollment wasn't high enough to retain me in a full time position. It was a mixed blessing to be sure. I realized within a few days that the site wasn't exactly right for me. The students were admittedly more than I could handle, and most of the days I taught there, a legitimately volatile situation happened.

I have been exposed to different types of problems when it comes to schools: drugs, alcohol, teen pregnancy, and gang affiliations. I have dealt with specific students and their individual hurdles that prevent their ability to learn and thrive in the educational setting. However, the students in my classes these past three weeks are currently dealing with these issues, and not very well at that. On more than one occasion, students jokingly asked me if I had a joint for them to buy, and whether I drank (and if I did, could they please come over for a party.)

Granted these were sometimes said in jest, but these students were misguided in where the line falls between an appropriate relationship with an adult, let alone an educator, and another drug-doing, illegal drinking, sexually over-active teen. I apologize if my tone comes across as cynical, that is not my intention. Its simply that after three weeks of students raising their voices in absolute protest of an assignment or a direction, deliberate shows of defiance and walking out of my classroom, and countless pictures and poems of and about penises (drawn during my instructional time), I feel that this placement was too much for me to handle alongside a new marriage (more important), setting up a new house (more important), and beginning a new life in San Diego (still more important).

Hence, I will be a substitute for the district, and the school has been very receptive to hiring me per diem as well. A mixed blessing in itself. Same kids, but at least I don't need to expose myself to the same issues every day. Instead, I have the ability to accept or decline jobs, so I'll have the time off when I need to emotionally recharge myself. Prayer is appreciated.

On another note, Levi is very happy with his job. He is currently working on a project that redesigns the 72 highway, and updates it according to the newest CalTrans surveys...we'll see if the renovations happen. Currently it is an explorative assignment. More updates on whether you should get excited when you drive on that specific on/off ramp to come! ;) (Seriously, take pictures. He'll be famous.)

Hey! And good news! We'll be visiting New Mexico with my parents to spend Christmas Eve/Day with Ouma and Oupa, and then fly to Boston/Providence by way of Chicago/Dallas to attend the Ryan Family Reunion in RI. So we'll spend New Years with the hubby's side. Ooh, and we get to spend Christmas a week early with the Lake Elsinorians. So we get Christmas twice this year. Perhaps juggling families isn't that bad after all. ;)

Love to all,
The Ryans

Wow-WEE

We are finally settling in down here in la Holla'. I mean la jolla. ;) our house is really cramped with all the boxes, but a major accomplishment yesterday was clearing the floor in the bedroom and living room. yay. enough to vaccuum. and the laundry (all seven loads) was done too! :)

we are heading up to jehaan and julie's wedding tomorrow, so i'm not looking forward to more time in a car, but seeing all our friends again will make up for it! :)

last noteworthy thing to post: i got a pseudo-job today! I'll start as a sub for a week, and if enrollment is enough to warrant a contract, i'll be offered a position! :) yay.

besitos.

OMG

fewer than six days until we are married! we are sooo excited to be partying it up with all of our very special friends.

did the seating today. joy!

I had the most amazing bachelorette party last night! It was intimate, with a few very close friends. And i very dearly missed those close friends that couldn't make it last night. it was exhilarating to ride a mechanical bull! SO fun! the bartenders were so nice, and the dancing on the stage with the dj was hilarious! My poor sister was only 18, so i don't think that anything was quite as funny to her, but it seemed she still got her kicks and giggles in! and that's all the information i'll divulge online. ;)

i hope you are all having blessed weeks in your own lives, i look forward to seeing you all on Saturday!

ps: i love levi.